Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
