Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
