jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
