Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
