Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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