i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm gonna cum garlic butter