hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
