is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
