non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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