just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
