Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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