Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
