i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
