well you can't waste a boner
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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