Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
