38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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