oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
honey bunches of taint.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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