For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
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Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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