clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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