shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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