Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize