If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
