ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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