the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
