stop calling my apartment porn island.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
