I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
