so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
