FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
