tell your sister to shave her snatch
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
