your thong is hanging out like whoa
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize