I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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