Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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