I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So vagazzling was a success
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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