Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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