Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
