what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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