i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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