We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
