I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
