Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
