i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
