I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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