bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
