if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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