You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
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my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
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We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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