my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
