I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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