I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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