her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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