i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
