She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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