I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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