I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
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Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
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We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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