i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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