the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
