the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
