I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Randomize
