I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
