I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
