I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
