Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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