She's JV to your varsity
just come out here and I will go home with you...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize