is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
