I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
